Maybe in Retrospect I Should Have Said "Country"

Among the hardcore, it's been unanimously decided that Donkey Kong Country was not a good game. The fanciful pre-rendered characters and backgrounds made for some of the most delicious eye candy around back in '94, but has since become inedible.

What Rare Ltd achieved with the original DKC was precisely what they set out to do, which was prove that the SNES was capable of major graphical feats, and could still be a viable competitor against 32-bit machines. There was a skeleton of a game there, for sure, but its apparent now that the Brits simply read the platform game Cliffs Notes, threw in a bunch of big words, and got by with an A.

The smoke and mirrors used made it easy for me to forgive the game's lack of depth (the fact that i was 11-year-old helped too.) I remember when that mysterious VHS tape in a leaf-covered box came in the mail. I was totally blown away. The propagandists at Nintendo Power really knew how to put together a promo video. The whole thing was less than 20 minutes long, and showcased only a tiny glimpse of the gameplay. But the graphics--my God, the graphics--aroused me more than the Playboy magazines under my older brother's bed.

Being the income-less 11-year-old that I was, I was forced to beg my mom for the game. It's release was slated for November, which meant I would have to wait until Christmas. Damn Nintendo and their marketing prowess . . .

Needless to say, it was a very happy Christmas, indeed. I played the game backwards and forwards. I made it my goal, my mission, my LIFE to find all the hidden bananas and bonus stage barrels. I remember playing the snow level over and over . . . you know the one, where the snow fell lightly at first and then became thicker and thicket as you progressed through the level? Yeah, that's the one.

The immediate success of DKC warranted a sequel, and Rare had a quick follow-up ready for release just one year later. This time around, they lacked the "holy shit!" factor that the original had. The visuals were simply cleaned up, but the gaming community's reaction barely registered on the Richter scale. Sony had released the Playstation several months earlier, and gamers were already beating off to the jagged polygonal race cars of Ridge Racer and blocky humanoid combatants of Battle Arena Toshinden. Suddenly it seemed hard to care about a monkey jumping on reptiles and collecting bananas--especially considering the game's title character wasn't even playable.

The blokes at Rare must have come down with a case of Mad Cow disease, because the direction they took with DCK 2 made no sense. Removing Donkey Kong, perhaps the most recognizable figure in videogames next to Pac-Man, and replacing him the with the ridiculously designed Dixie Kong is a travesty. Dixie is essentially Diddy Kong in drag, and her long blond ponytail acts as a sort of auxiliary appendage, capable of lifting barrels over her head and tossing them at enemies.

Dixie's hair also gave her the slow-descending ability, which had become a platform game staple in the years following Super Mario Bros. 3. This occurred when Dixie spun while falling, turning the ponytail like the propeller of a helicopter. It all makes perfect sense.

Besides the superfluous Dixie, Rare began what would become its downfall: collecting tons of meaningless bullshit. In addition to bananas, in DKC 2 you collect banana coins, Kremlin coins, balloons, golden letters that spell out the word "KONG," and feathers. It's a cheap way to add longevity and replayability to a game that Rare eventually perfected.

I played DKC 2 quite a bit during its initial release, but never owned a copy. What it lacked the charm and uniqueness, it attempted to make up for with lame characters and frustration. It amazes how that DKC 2 is widely regarded as the best the game of the franchise. Because even now that I am old enough to realize the original game's flaws, it still has that nostalgia factor going for it, which counts for a lot.

Despite its shortcomings, DKC 2 was still wildly popular, and like any entertainment product that returns even a $1 profit, a sequel was made. By now, the whole monkeys grabbing bananas while shooting out of barrels schlock had gotten really old, and I never knew a single person who owned the game. And get a load of the character designs here: the shit-fest Dixie returns, and this time instead of Diddy or Donkey, she's brought along Kiddy Kong. Yes, Kiddy Kong. Words cannot bring justice to the loathsome feelings I have for this character, so I'll just wrap it up here.


It's sad to think that the game that single-handedly saved the SNES from an early grave went down in history as such a dud. If Rare had just managed to squeeze an actual game in between all of those graphical tricks, then the SNES could have went out with a well deserved bang.